The Whys Revisited

innerbonding.com

 Below are three questions from two blog visitors bordering on similar issues.

·       Okay. It’s still a question of "why we stay" but in this case it is, why a single girl would be/ stay with a married man for a good length of time knowing the relationship won't go anywhere?

·         Married and loving someone else, what would you do?

·         Is it possible to love two people at the same time?

People are in relationships for varied reasons. Some are in it because of societal pressures/family pressures, years spent together, children, finances, sex, love and certain obligations etc.

These three questions are inexplicably linked. They all remind me of Harrysong's reggae blues chorus, "even your boo get a boo". The issue of single ladies being with a married man knowing fully well their relationship won’t be legalised is something that has been in practise from time immemorial. Single men are also guilty of these, I don’t think it should be exclusively labelled “single girl”. The people in question may actually be in love with the said “married men/women” after all they got feelings too. We should also bear in mind that most married men/women that partake in these affairs lie a lot about their married status and before the single woman/man knows it, they are neck deep in the relationship. So the real question should be, why do they still stay? Hmm, the answer lies at the doorstep of the married man or woman who keeps disrespecting their spouse by indulging in these relationships because without a willing partner there will actually be no crime. Single men/women cannot manufacture a relationship from the air without the said “married person” being involved.

What are the perils of staying in a loveless marriage? I would not be able to survive in a loveless marriage and I believe the reason people are still in such situations is because of the reasons mentioned above. This also might be one of the reasons why there is a high rise in adultery. My advice would be, rather than the continuous cheating on your spouse with the said “love of your life”, it is better to jejeingly walk out of the relationship. Man/woman up and leave because cheating and its likes has led to countless physical altercations and in some cases death. Abeg I no fit shout, love is not that simple for some, but at the end of the day, you should consider the interest of the other parties involved and take a decision NOW.

Ha! Lots of people claim to even love more than two people at the same time. Some cannot decipher the difference between being infatuated, in lust or in money. In my opinion, I don’t think it is possible. Yes, you can love even ten people at the same time but not at the same intensity or degree. One must be the apple of your eyes and if you are honest abi truthful to yourself and search within, you will find that one person that makes your heart beat at a faster pace than others.

Have you been in any of these above situations or know someone who has been? I would like to hear your opinions.