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| tinybuddha.com |
Ex-Sutherland Footballer Adam Johnson’s girlfriend and mother of his
daughter, Stacey Flounders has recently broken off their relationship over his
unfaithfulness.
Stacey has been his back bone in his
recent court proceedings on his sexual grooming allegations charge with a 15
year old girl. When asked by Johnson’s Solicitor why she decided to stay with
him despite the allegations, she said “because he was honest with me and I knew
he was telling the truth”. We just had a daughter. I wanted us to be a family”.
She also mentioned she suspected him of cheating on several occasions but had
no hard evidence.
Her situation is a daily occurrence for
some women and men that hang on despite all hard evidence. A friend who has
been heartbroken so many times by her husband asked me one pertinent question,
why do I still stay despite all the humiliations? I honestly do not have an
answer to that but if I were to guess, I would say we stay in broken
relationships, poor working conditions, abusive relationships and any other
situation because we are scared of the unknown. We are scared of testing new
waters and exploring. The concept of the devil you know, children, wealth
accumulated together etc. have been used countless times.
Most times, we stay because of what our
families, friends, foes and even people we don’t know would say. I find we live
in such pretentious world. We are quick to judge others notwithstanding the
fact we are going through similar situations or are in worse situations.
If there
is anyone out there experiencing these issues or someone you know, I believe
the first step towards helping them is by showing them love and understanding.
The love you show is the strength they need to voice out or leave the situation
they find themselves. Behind the tears and even the smiles the re-occurring
question will always be, why do we stay in such situations?
Have
you been in a similar situation or helped someone in a similar situation?
Hmm, this is not a situation any1 wants to find themselves in but of course it's reality. Like the article says, fear of the unknown or just the fact that one needs to rebuild, cost of a break up especially when married and children are involved. Its always a hard choice but one that needs to be carefully thought through. I can only say follow your heart and always pray if in that situation cos the fact that A left and it worked don't mean it's the best decision for you too.
ReplyDeleteOMG!!!!! Am actually going tru dis predicament right now. Have bin persuaded by 1 or 2 friends to stay in d rship while 2 odas are ok for me to leave.reasons both gave to me sounds cool to dem especially d 1 convincing me to stay.telling me i'm making a big deal out of d situation.bt in my heart am hurting so bad and i have made up my mind not to stay in d rship.yeah it might sound like am making a mountain out of a mole bt i rather be alone than unhappy.i dont care wot people will say.i dont wana be in a rship wia am doing everytin.am acting d role of d man and d woman at d same tym.not minding d new discovery dat my boo is a gigolo who sleeps wit married women.dunno if for pleasure or money. a friend said i was crying more dan d bereaved aftaerall d husband is not complaining.was shocked wen he said dat.i asked him how he would feel if he finds out his wife was doing sideshows with a yung boy bt he didnt give me any good response.We stay cos we like d feeling of having our own man/woman.we stay cos we want to feel loved, cherished and wanted by someone out of d million people in d world.we want to share a special connection with one person.we stay cos of how society and family will see us:as either unstable in rships or too choosy or non-tolerating or generally not rship/marriage materials.its worse for women cos of d biological clock which in this modern tyms and with development in technology not a hindering factor anymore.women are often seen as loose wen not in a rship or married.men are often seen as players who just play with women without any plans to settle down.just pray and weigh all d options b4 quitting.
ReplyDeleteAfrikanBabe, this is really a sad situation. I do think your mind is already made up judging from your above statements. There's so much more to life and we should not waste a moment dwelling in bad situations. Cheating is not cool at all, it takes a long while for healing to take place. It is worse when it is a daily occurrence referring to your allegations of him being a gigolo.
DeleteThe decisions you take should always be for your safety, happiness and peace of mind.
Most people stay when children are involved and also because of what people will say. Not that they really want to stay!!!
ReplyDeleteBut should we really stay because of the children or what people will say?
DeleteEveryone deserves a second chance or so they say . . .
ReplyDeleteEveryone deserves a second chance or so they say . . .
ReplyDeleteThis is a very tough and delicate situation to handle. Why did I stay.....at the initially stage, I wanted to have home at the same time I thought of what people would say and how to start life all over again. Somewhere along the line, I got fed and was ready to move on but was gripped fear. I had no job, the question of where would I start from kept ringing in my head. I seeked advice from all corners but at the end of the day I will sit down and pick out the ones I considered not helpful.
ReplyDeleteI have good friends who comforted me. Cried with me when I was down. I fought my fight physically and didn't get a result not until I went on my knees and wailed to God. He surely did see me through. It was long the storm was over.
I thank God I didn't leave cos now things have turned around for me good. I have peace of mind now and enjoying my home.
Was the it tough when I was going through it......100% sure. I lost a lot of weight, looked haggard and aged over night but nevertheless my cry to God prevailed.
I want to encourage anyone going through any format of marital problem to keep talking to God and less to "humans". Don't feed your problems instead pray and have faith. Less I forget, I changed something about me too. I stopped talking back when their is an uproar etc
its the hardest test of true love...being there when the going gets tough.
ReplyDelete